Monday, November 28, 2005

It's a kind of magic

Magic. It’s about pulling rabbits out of a black top hat. Sawing people in half. It’s knowing that you picked the ace of hearts from the pack.

Or is it?

Ask most women (and please note that I say most and not all) what magic is to them and they’ll talk to you about violins playing in the background, frissons of excitement coursing down their backs, that ‘look’ from across a smoky bar. P.C Sorcar’s brand of abracadabra just doesn’t cut it anymore.

Apparently, love these days is all about magic. It’s about a je ne sais pas that’s harder to describe than the need for salmon flavoured ice lollies. (which do exist, I assure you). And it’s driving a lot of guys up the wall.

Male friends of mine in love, float along on cloud number 9 until they’re brought down to terra firma when told ‘I like you… but I just don’t feel it. You know, that feeling in your stomach?’ And there’s no point telling them that feeling in their stomach is the lunch they had at the dubious road side stall – they think it’s love.

‘What about commitment? What about friendship? A sense of humour?’ ask these men. Why do all these sterling qualities pale when compared to a light headed feeling that could have more to do with skipping breakfast than meeting Mr. Right?

Now there’s nothing wrong with wanting these things. I wouldn’t expect a woman to settle for Nine West when she could buy Manolos. But what if the Nine West shoes were great? What if they let you catch trains, run a marathon and looked great with trousers and skirts? I’d recommend giving the Nine West’s a shot.

I know girls who have said no to wonderful guys based purely on a fairytale notion of love. They hope that like Snow White, they won’t have to choose from Grumpy and Sneezy, and that Prince Charming will come one day. And who’s to say he won’t?
But remember girls, if Mr. Prince Charming is a no show – don’t go looking for Grumpy or Sneezy. They’ll be with a girl who knows that most magic tricks are illusions. And that real love can’t be pulled out of a hat.


VC said...

WOW! Are you actually hinting that women should "settle"!!!

Mridula said...

No, I don't think so, I think she is saying for everyone love may not mean a light headed feeling that could have more to do with skipping breakfast than meeting Mr. Right?

No, she is hinting that sense of humor counts more than light headed feeling and I agree.

I really enjoyed the lines I have quoted above.

And don't even talk about violins. My husband started playing one at the age of 23 and now he is approaching his 8th grade exam.

Thank god he is a software professional otherwise. And heaven forbid when he tries a new tune. The whole house feels haunted for a week or so. And people want violins to play in the background? They don't know what it is really like ;)

velvetbabe said...

o great writing here!

the markets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it would be HORRIBLE if little places like that get wiped out--all the charm is gone--that kind of development is happening in mexic when I go down to see my little brother there--he loves it of course--but I? NO!

it's the charm of the place--that was beautiful writing!!!!!!!! and this one is too!


ahhhh the magic......
that is falling in love! if only it could last!

... said...

I totally agree with you. The thing I love the most about him is that he makes me laugh...a lot! I think that is very important for me since I am going to spend the rest of my life with him.

Anjali said...

oh, I'd take a sense of humour over romantic ballads any day ... do you think it's something to do with (shudder) age?

shyam said...

If there's any "settling" to be done, it should be for something/someone real and dependable, not airy-fairy ideas of romance got from mushy books.

If you ask me, getting a bouquet of roses everyday as a "romantic" gesture would pall, especially if there are no practical/helpful gestures - but to have my husband do the washing-up or tidying if there's a favourite programme I want to watch, or a book to read... now THAT is not only romantic, it's thoughtful as well! :)

Sakshi said... made me upset with this post. i mean..i was happy dreaming away of my prince charming...and you just put a bucket of cold water on my face....ahhhhh !!

But on a serious are very right ! Thats why at times I feel 'Arranged Marriages'(these days) aren't all the bad...families make sure that the 'guy' belongs to a good family and is well qualified and has a decent bank balance. So we should feel less scared of this concept.

I mean, NOT all are lucky enough to bump into their prince charming or times we need others help to find them.

sinusoidally said...

Very nice post. I agree with it. Love is hard to find as it is these days what with being busy and having no time to meet anyone. Many of my girlfriends (looking for soulmates) reject boys attributing it to 'no spark' after a couple of dates. Given some time even a nine west could mould on as the sexiest pair off of the collection of Manolos. I think.

Sujatha said...

Been on both sides, i.e., found my Prince Charming and been married to him for 13 years this December. I can tell you from personal experience that after the butterflies flit away and the strains of the violin fade out, it's the laughter that will sustain the daily grind. We talked non-stop in the years before we got married and the only time we are not chattering away is when we're fighting.

TomCruiseChellum said...

Where are you tdu? Why the silence on a subject like this?
TC is a little too old to comment on this.
By the way where can I find a French dictionary on the net?

Übermaniam said...


Übermaniam said...

Still yawning. Ah well, okay, at least the writing was nice.

Haridas Dave said...

Yeah, like in the animated movie Shrek, instead of prince charming she had to settle for a ugly looking Ogre, but ultimately she found that he was a wonderful human being. So girls, better to let that feeling of Prince Charming alone and find someone is more of a nice person. Looks are not gonna be there tommorrow, but emotions and love has to be !!!! If he is your prince charming, he may intend to be for someone else tooo !!!! You dun want that happening, do you ???

the cowlick said...

you write really well! amazing post! and yes, sense of humour over any sort of invisible bells that go off in heads..

The ramblings of a shoe fiend said...

Hello! Well if so many women are agreeing with the thoughts penned here - I guess my male friends are looking in all the wrong places!Any of you single and ready to mingle? I know some great guys ;)

Sakshi said...

Me...Me...Me !!! :)

krishna rautela said...

hmm.. just this morning i was reminiscing about "a bridge across forever" how it held me in good stead for a long time in life. but then one can wait only that long :)..

better to be clear headed then light headed

Rahul said...

What guys, shoefiend, what guys? :)

Rahul said...

Hell. The last four comments had smileys.

sapphire said...

shoe fiend why didnt i read this before lol
btw u sed ur good frends need some...ahem
me me me a la sakshi :)
n ya nother post me 2 used dad's "gifted diaries" as my stationery and was absolutely in love with the idea of it... still am :)

personal development said...

What are your 50,000 thoughts a day creating?

Our thoughts create our reality. This is a simple truth known by all people involved on the spiritual path. It is one of the most taught universal principles in the personal development field. Yet it is one of the most misunderstood!

People practice visualisation, affirmations, they use hypnosis, subliminal programming or countless other tools to transform their lives. However they fail to recognise one key area in their lives that hinder these wonderful techniques from being effective.

They sit day after day visualising their perfect scene and yet nothing happens. Why? They have followed all the instructions to the letter! They have chanted and imagined! They have formed a colourful, vibrant scene in their minds and affirmed that this is their reality. Then all of a sudden things get worse! What is going on?

Would you like to know the secret? Would you like to know why these people get no results? Would you like to hear one powerful statement that explains everything?

Good. I will tell you why these people get no results or even opposite results to those they are aiming for -simply because of the following truth. Consciously controlled thoughts such as visualisations do not materialise - ALL thoughts materialise!!!
Most people believe that if they visualise for 10 minutes a day their lives will magically transform. This is not the case. You must change your core thinking. You think approx. 50,000 thoughts a day. How many of those thoughts are working against your ten minute visualisation?
You can control the thoughts that enter your mind by changing the way you view the world. You can decide which thoughts you give energy to and which thoughts you discard.

The thoughts that you follow and give energy to become more dominant than the thoughts you discard. Your subconscious mind records these as your dominant picture on the issue at hand. You then move towards this picture because your subconscious mind starts making your outside world reflect the picture that you have stored internally.
Your mind should be on whatever you want. The picture you need to have is a positive vision of you already having achieved your goal. To realise this vision you need to focus and concentrate. Remember thoughts are real, they create your reality.
Let's say you have been visualising a new house. You spend your ten minutes in meditation picturing yourself living in your dream home. You finish your session and get up feeling positive that you will achieve your goal. Then during the day you get a heating bill through the post and exclaim "Oh no look how expensive this is I cannot afford to heat this house". Where is your focus in the present moment? What are you affirming? You are telling your subconscious mind that you cannot deal with what you have. You are affirming that your life is not how you want it to be. If you knew without doubt that within a week you would be moving to your new home would you honestly be worried about a heating bill? Perhaps other doubts creep in like "I should be happy with what I have", or "I will never get this house looking the way I want it" and so on and so on.
These thoughts that are not aligned with your goal. You are not giving complete attention to what you want. Whilst you are dealing with these other lines of thought your attention is not on your goal.
If you are aware of your thoughts you will suddenly realise that you have spent much more energy on counter productive thoughts than on creating a dominant picture of the goal you want.
Point your focus in the direction of you're the life you want. Think about what you want NOT what you don't want. It's that simple.

Your focus determines your reality. Change your focus and you change your life. hypnosis