Tuesday, May 01, 2007

shoes shoes and more shoes

It’s been about three weeks since I arrived in Dallas and I can confidently say I am all shopped out. My wrist has become sprained from credit card flashing and I have some definite triceps and biceps from all that bag lifting. But this isn't about my new fitness routine, it's about the mecca of footwear DSW Shoe Warehouse.

It gladdens my heart to see a retail space the size of Wal Mart that is solely devoted to shoes, stocking everything from Converse to Giuseppe Zanotti. The shoes are arranged according to style, so you don’t waste time trawling through row after row of wedges when you’re looking for platforms (though I would urge you to go for the wedges.)

After almost two hours of shoe browsing and richer by one pair, I decided it was time to turn my attention to shoe felons. Now while a beautiful pair of shoes can be a truly uplifting experience a heinous pair can give one just as much joy.

I present to you the worst of the worst (kindly modelled by yours truly)

I like to call these Kermit the Pimp. Don’t you think this is what the amphibian would make Miss. Piggy wear while walking the streets of Muppet Land? (Though it's highly possble these shoes were made with Kermit rather than for him.)





I have a feeling these shoes are very popular on a commune for arty crafty people too high on dope to notice how ugly these they are.





This pair I call Hooker with a heart of fake diamante studs. (And yes, I am in need of a pedicure.)



Miss. Simpson decided that tormenting us with her reality shows and sister wasn’t bad enough.






Biraather, I bought you a Rakhi but decided to stick it on my shoe instead.





Betsey Johnson, I know you’re crazy and that you like cartwheeling down the runway in pigtails, tutu skirts and pink leggings. But really, leopard print and flowers? My eyes! My eyes!




Even I have no words for these.
Just so the bags didn’t feel left out and to show I’m not prejudiced. (Might go with the crazy Betsey shoes.)

24 comments:

alpha said...

how come the shoe bought at nine west didnt feature here? ohhh, there are shoes that YOU think are horrid. I see!!! hehe!

The ramblings of a shoe fiend said...

ADI PAAVI. and to think i was going to write a nice long post about what a wonderful hostess you were. I will forgive you for I know your current living arrangements are trying

anjali said...

What??! you managed to come out of DSW without buying any shoes? You are losing your game, girl.

Anonymous said...

How come we don't get to see what made your collection 'richer by a pair' ?

Absolutely hilarious post!

Would you believe one of the secretaries at (my) work actually owns the leopard print with spring flowers? :P

The ramblings of a shoe fiend said...

anjali - 1 trip to the States = 5 new pairs of shoes.

Anon That's the next post. I suggest you buy the pink leopard print bag to go with the shoes.

Terri said...

It's nice to finally put fingers with the toes and metti. Somehow it leaves us thirsting for more.

J. Alfred Prufrock said...

Do they sell shoe closets as well?

J.A.P.

Veena said...

Commute? Hello, this is Texas!

Shyam said...

ewww... what wonderfully vile shoes! :) Can we have still more pix, PWEEEEASE? Including the pair that you bought! :)

PS. when are you back in London?

Alpha said...

did you even stop to think my sarcasm could be due to the fact that no such post has yet seen the twinkle of my eye?

my present living arrangements are providing me with paal payasam and wheat halwa at request.

The ramblings of a shoe fiend said...

Terri - :)

J.A.P - Alas no. But the Container Store (I'm still trying to get over the fact that there's something called the Container Store' has many shoe storage solutions. Also, I think for shoes like these a paper bag should suffice.

Veena - :P

Shyam - I think there's one more pair I haven't put up. Will be back in London Saturday morning.

Alpha - :) Like that-a? Ensoi.

The ramblings of a shoe fiend said...

Oh and Veena I am assuming you meant Commune :)

usha said...

Love your blogs. They make me smile all day.Keep blogging

Uma said...

ROTFL Hilarious

30in2005 said...

I never thought I would hear the words 'all shopped out' come from your mouth, or sprained wrist. EVER.

WOW. so 200kgs of excess baggage and a whole new wardrobe, I'm guessing......or just your weight in shoes??? Cya soon Shoefie

Chimera said...

though the trip to the US always features shoes for me as well (this time the 4 inched ones took the lead..) , I did not seem to like the collection at the DSW I had visited.

Nilu said...

athellam seri, what are those ugly things on your toes? much like us, shoes get judged by the toes they let in.

mumbaigirl said...

eeeeeeeeeeks.

the wannabe indian punkster said...

Leopard print and embroidered (eugh) flowers by the looks of it.

God. Now I've seen everything.

bess said...

I'm in love with the glorious green shoes!

Shruti Rajagopalan said...

I hope you can visit Delhi sometime in the forseable future (before which Punju aunties' tastes don't change) and you will have the most delightfully bitchy experience shoe shopping through a sea of ghastly shoes!

The ramblings of a shoe fiend said...

Usha, Uma :)

30in2005 : A bit of both!

Chimera: Finding something at DSW is all down to luck and patience, I guess.

Nilu: You let toes in where?


MG: Exactly!

Punkster: :)

Bess - No! Really?

Shruthi - Sounds wunderful. I have heard much about Punju Aunties and their shoes.

shub said...

The rakhi comparison rocks! Hehe! :-)

Chyna said...

Wow.. Fantastic collection!! I really like those leopard skin stuff shoes. I also have a pair of snake skin stuff shoes.