Monday, September 24, 2007

To the idiots in the audience yesterday

Why were you there? Why did you buy tickets to this sublime evening of music if all you were going to do was sit to my left, before and behind me and talk. Not whisper the occasional comment in your friend's ear. But talk. Animatedly. With hands fluttering about, so that the dim lighting caught the dazzle of the diamonds fastened to your bracelet and the varnish painted on your nails. What you were talking about I do not know. And why you couldn't conduct your conversation some other place is anyone's guess. When the person seated between us put his finger to his lips like a kindergarten teacher you kept silent for all of 5 minutes before starting again. What part of 'Shh' do you not understand?

Lady behind us, what IS in that infernal bag of yours? Your brains? Do you have rattle about in it for half an hour?

And all of you coming in late. What is it about 'Concert begins at 4pm' that you do not understand. Sure, they started 15 minutes late. But to come in after an hour! And then to glare at people as you step on their feet enroute to your seat, doesn't that seem a bit much to you?

And you there, two rows down. Actually, you and your entire family. Have you come to the wrong place? Did you imagine you were going to see KANK, SHANK or some other preposterously long drivel. Is that why you've brought along a large bag of popcorn, a family sized pack of Kit Kats and bottles of cola that annoyingly go 'Fzzz' when you open them. You, young man, with your arm around the girl's shoulder. Must you nuzzle her neck forcing her to break out in to a not so quiet giggle. Do you have to try on your friend's glasses and then say in a stage whisper 'I can't see anything.' Yet you forget that the rest of us can hear everything.

6 comments:

30in2005 said...

Clearly I had very uneventful seats! I do agree that all that damn footfall behind us while the music played was ridiculous and should have been disallowed.

~ Ms. Cute Pants ~ said...

Sound like the idiots were at the wrong show & sounds like there were a lot of them. Too bad you couldn't have the monitor (if there was one) clear them out, for if you did you may have found yourself sitting with only a few others & would have enjoyed the rest of the show they way it's supposed to be enjoyed.

ggop said...

I had the pleasure of watching a hindi movie with a woman on her mobile behind me whispering "Abhi Rani Mukerje/a aayi hai. Uska dress sahi hai..." for the entire movie.
F*****g retard.

mumbaigirl said...

God, we were lucky then! I would have bitten their ears off!

Atticus Finch said...

It's frustrating when people do it in a movie... But this is damn downright abysmal - behaving like monkeys in a live performance... My personal top-hates are the gigglers and the wise-men at the movies who have to read every written word in the screen for the benefit of us illiterate souls...

Shyam said...

Funny to read about, but no fun to experience, I know this from experience! :)