Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Why do I even bother

This Sunday I was at our local Waterstone's browsing through row upon rown of 3 for 2 offers and Richard and Judy Book Club Reads when it occured to me to enquire about a certain book I had recently read and wanted to buy. So I went up to the counter and found myself facing the kind of gel-haired, multi pierced, Nuts reading youth that seem to have taken over the retail industry. I should have known how things were going to turn out and left then. But I didn't.

Me: Do you have The Collected Stories of Colette?

Gel-head: Is that Tony?

Me (feeling a little guilty for having had such mean thoughts about a hearing impaired person) No no COLETTE not Tony

Gel-head (who by now thinks I'm the slow witted one) NO I M-E-A-N-T T-0-N-I C-O-L-E-T-T-E

Me (back to feeling morally superior) No just Colette.

Gel-head: Let me check. How'd you spell that?

Me: C-O-L-E-T-T-E

Gel head: I don't think there's anyone like that

(So what now I'm imagining books by non-existant writers?)

Me: Can you check anyway please?

Gel-head: Whatever

So Gel-head spends about twelve minutes searching for Colette on the database. I'm sure it was hard locating the alphabets on the keyboard what with all that Gel seeping from his hair in to his brain and clogging it.

Gel-head: You sure it's not Toni Colette?

Me (gritting teeth) Positive

Gel-head suddenly gets up and wanders to the blonde girl at the next counter to chat her up and tickle her.

Gel-head (suddenly realising I'm still standing there) Yeah. Sorry. Nothin like that.

Me: Thank you

Gel-head: If you want I'll check for Toni Colette. That's probably who you want anyway innit?

This young man ranks second in my list of useless book shop staff. The first place is occuppied by a dread-locked lady of indeterminate age at W.H Smith, Kings Cross Station who informed me that no such publication entitled The New Yorker existed. May be it is just me.

8 comments:

WA said...

HaHa, please do send a copy of this post to your local waterstone's

B o o said...

I so know what you mean! This has happened a lot to me in the Bangalore department stores.
"May be you work here dude, but I am the one who buys stuff here and I know theres smooth peanut butter and what you brought is crunchy!"
"No m'am. You must have bought this only last time. Take this one. Its the same."
Aaaaaargh!

rads said...

lol :-))

30in2005 said...

Can I just say that its the gel that does it - seep into and destroy all brain. On my train there are a set of dudes who quite obviously do not have any time to shower before getting ready for work but have spent at least an hour getting the gel in their hair to hold it up in odd looking spikes. Do none of them own a mirror? or soap? On the 'all I want for Christmas' list do they put down Gel X 100'. You poor thing....did you find it.

apu said...

Now now, Shoefie, all that anger :)

Shyam said...

Heehee... as someone who's an impartial onlooker, as it were - that was hilarious! :D Rather you than me, though!

mumbaigirl said...

Aaaargh. Those gel heads. Want to strangle them.

The ramblings of a shoe fiend said...

WA - If I thought it would help at all I would.

Boo - :D I'm glad to know I'm not the only one

Rads - You laugh at my hurt! Gasp

30in2005 - I knew it was the gel! I found the book on Amazon... for £30!!! Anyone want to buy me a Christmas present? :D

Apu, Shyam - :P

Mumbaigirl - The gel may fix your hands to them forever though!