Friday, October 28, 2005

Confessions

They're everywhere. Stacked under my bed. In the back of my cupboard. Lodged under History on my computer. (frequently cleared so my husband doesn't see) They send discreet mailers asking me to sign up - models revealing tantalising glimpses of what's on offer. When it's late at night and I can't sleep I sneak downstairs and watch it on TV. Sometimes for hours at a stretch. I know I can never have any of them – not even one. But I just can’t help myself.

It’s sad but it’s true as someone once sang, but I’m obsessed. (ok so someone didn’t sing the second bit – that’s my own addition.) There isn’t even a support group for people like me. And what would we say – ‘Hi! I’m so-and-so. And I’m a home décor addict?’ (This is probably where most of you lift your minds out of the gutter and realise that I’m watching Grand Designs and not Well Hung Downtown at 2:30 am)

But in a way – home décor is my porn. Till now, I’ve never really told anyone about it. I mean what would people think if I told them how my hand’s get sweaty at the sight of a Smeg Fridge. That my husband wants to commit me for getting so excited at the sight of an art deco mansion. And at the newsstand they get uneasy when I stand there, glassy eyed, gazing at row upon row of Home Décor Magazines (which might have something to do with the fact that all the lads magazines are stacked right above them)

So you’re thinking – how dangerous can an addiction to home décor be? Financially it can be crippling. I mean the number of must-have vases, tribal-chic place mats, enamel milk jugs and brass odds and ends I already have and continue to purchase every month is staggering. And men don’t like the idea of women getting excited in bed about some guy called Terence Conran. They also don’t understand what the fuss is about. To most of them (except the gay ones) there is no difference between Mies Van Der Rohe and Terence Conran. A coffee table is just a coffee table. It’s similar to women not being able differenciate between Jordan and Jodie Marsh.

It also breeds envy. When I go to someone’s house for the first time I no longer interrogate my husband about whether he thought the women their were prettier or smarter than me. The conversation usually goes something like this.

Me (trying to be nonchalant) So… what did you think?

Him Great food

Me And her…

Him It was really nice

Me Better than mine?

Him I’m not saying that

Me Don’t lie to me! I saw the way you were eyeing her… her side cabinets.

I then burst in to tears and refuse to talk to him for the rest of the night.

I sometimes try and go on cold turkey. I don’t take the magazines up to bed with me. I put all the channels on child lock. I give all the magazines for recycling. But I’m usually back to my old ways in days.

This time round, I decided to take up a hobby – you know find a passion that would divert my attention. So I thought exotic cooking! It’s therapeutic, I can eat the end result (leather sofas really don’t taste good) and it’s not as expensive as my other dirty little secret.

So I went to the John Lewis the other day to buy the basic things I would need for my new endevour. The range and variety I saw was staggering. The colanders. The frying pans. The cutting boards. The wine racks. And the books. Oh the books. Slender
Italians. Cheeky English Country. Sensuous French. Brassy Americans. Exotic Indian.

Who knew cooking could be so… exciting?

39 comments:

Sakshi said...

Great post once again.

It reminds me of the song "the sunscreen"...there is this line which goes like this..."Dont' buy beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly".

Sakshi said...

ps...in your case "decor" magazines...lol.

Shyam said...

Cant be bothered about home decor, really... but the bit about glossy, gorgeous cookery books and flash kitchen utensils hit home rather :) My cookbook collection is growing by the day - and I'm not ashamed. I love it. LOVE IT, I tell you! :)

Übermaniam said...

Btw, great blog.

abhishek mehrotra said...

People often scoff at me because of the way I dig into magazines ranging from a Ikea to a Crate & Barrel Catalogue. Why are such obsessions reserved only for women? Thankfully they have come up with a new term: metrosexual! I guess now I can afford to get excited over a Pottery Barn sale as much over a Bana Republic sale without anybody judging my orientation.

Anjali said...

oh i can totally relate to this ... i've spent many happy hours with my nose pressed against the windows of home decor stores. Can't even call it even home decor actually, more utilitarian exotica ... you know, wine racks, corkscrews, wine stoppers, breakfast-in-bed tray tables, pepper mills, oil-and-vinegar pourers. I have acquired an espresso machine that can seriously be described as my pride and joy, that I clean lovingly with a soft cloth each morning.
What is it about kitchen exotica that reduces us to such idiocy?

Mali&Madhu said...

The collective world of mustachioed masculinity takes great umbrage at your sladerous statement that we do not recognize the difference between Mies van der rohe and Terence Conran. Sometimes the gentler sex fails to recognize that people such as Mies needed patrons to flourish in their chosen profession. Needless to say that the collected sales of hand-knit teacosies and garam-a-garam samosas did not fund Mies. There is a method to the madness but it is not always recognized. The collective of bristled upperlippers laugh at your naivete when you do not realize that the selective patronage of a man known for his skin and bone minimalist architecture catered almost exclusively to the tastes of people who wanted space and would not fear to throw their arms wide open for fear of knocking over the ugly but expensive vase filled with overdried flowers from too long ago.

postscript - Incidentally, I have walked every day of my life for five years along Mies van der Rohe way in Chicago, IL. Guess how many women scientists know who that was when I quizzed them about it once...

velvetbabe said...

in the early years of my marriage, i was the same! truly!

it was only later that i stopped caring about this stuff!

do i ever still have all the early conran's books!

& first degree was art/art history so, i hear you, I worked in advertising too.

here on this "other continent" of brassy grimness, can I say i like your style, very much! & thank you for coming by....

marriage is the most difficult thing i've ever done gf----------

mean that!

xxoo,
me

your american pal, valentine

Kapil said...

My girl friend should read "Ways to get rid of "this" addiction!"

The ramblings of a shoe fiend said...

sakshi - that line is so true... never once has Vogue made me feel good about msyelf - something to do with those airbrushed 14 year old models i think!

shyam - :D

The daily unusual - thanks

Abhishek - good for u! we dont have pottery barn here - so i make do by drooling over the website

anjali - i blame all these designers for making even the mundane seem marvellous! Alessi has managed to elevate the humble egg cup to a work of art

M&m - my many many apologies for having caused ur perfectly waxed moustache to bristle... i take back that statement! and btw i think those female scientists u know need to get out of the lab and appreciate structures other than a triple helix dna strand

valentine... i think my husband is waiting for the day i stop caring about these things and causing a dent in his wallet

kapil - sorry to break it to you but there is no cure! :) u'll have to put up with her addiction just like my man does

sonia said...

hmm you're obviously not alone. havent you realized that's what society and TV want us women to be addicted to??

Olinda said...

Who knew that to find the man of my dreams I only needed to read another woman's blog?

Abhishek, wherever you are, I think you and me should get together and soon, because I feel exactly the same way you do!

I find it incredibly soothing to flip through the C&B or Pottery Barn catalogue before falling asleep.

And forget about being in the store itself. I love wandering throught the IKEA maze, looking at all those snug little rooms they have set up. I ran into C&B Saturday to get 2 small items in the kitchen section and ended up circling around for about 15 minutes looking at all the Christmas themed decorations and table settings (and why can't I find those same towels and placemats they have when I'm in India, since they're bloody well made there??)

The ramblings of a shoe fiend said...

sonia - it's a conspiracy i agree!

olinda - now here's something i can add to me resume! matchmaker :D
payments can be made in the form of items procured from c&b

LAK said...

OOH, I identify with 'your craziness', totally. in movies and TV soaps, I pay more attention to the decor, than the actors! Ask me what the heroine was wearing and I may not be able to tell you, but ask me about what coffee table she had and the mug she was drinking from and--you got it!

The ramblings of a shoe fiend said...

lak! Ohmigod! we're like soul mates! I watched Devdas of all movies 3 times just because of the set design!

home furnishings said...

Hi, you've got an interesting post. I was looking for key things to consider when one is going to buy home furnishings items, and your site came up. Though Confessions isn't exactly what I was looking for, I thought I'd stop by. I can see why your posting was in the search results. Thanks.

home decor said...

Hello, I came across your site while looking for postings discussing how to buy home decor items. I was interested in what people looked for or thought about when they were about to buy home decor. Although Confessions isn't exactly what I had in mind, I can see why it came up in my search. In any case, thanks for the interesting post.

home furnishings said...

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home decor said...

Hey The ramblings of a shoe fiend GREAT title Confessions. Thats what actually caught my eye. I was surfing blogs to try and help my customers and visitors with information on my website about ##Keyword## and paused to read but ran out of time. I will book mark it and come back to read later. This isn't really what I was looking for what I really need is information about http://www.horse-lover-gift-ideas-central.com related subjects but thank you and I shall return. I wish you well.

home decor said...

Hi, you've got an interesting post. I was looking for key things to consider when one is going to buy home furnishings items, and your site came up. Though Confessions isn't exactly what I was looking for, I thought I'd stop by. I can see why your posting was in the search results. Thanks.

home decor said...

Hi, you've got an interesting post. I was looking for key things to consider when one is going to buy home decor items, and your site came up. Though Confessions isn't exactly what I was looking for, I thought I'd stop by. I can see why your posting was in the search results. Thanks.

Carousel horse said...

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home decor said...

Hello, I came across your site while looking for postings discussing how to buy home decor items. I was interested in what people looked for or thought about when they were about to buy home decor. Although Confessions isn't exactly what I had in mind, I can see why it came up in my search. In any case, thanks for the interesting post.

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Horse said...

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Thank you.
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I have been in MLM companys for the past 8 years offline mainly and have never made a dime. This is a new frontier for my wife and I and don't have very much experience but a friend suggested searching blogs to get ideas about how people sale and also what kind of information they offer their customers and clients. We are begining to make some good money selling clock infinity wall related articles but I also want to offer my customers some quality information to go along with good deals. If you make it to my site and can offer some constructive critisizm I will take it into consideration or if you have some ideas it will be greatly appreciated. Remember we are on a budget and we do all the work ourselves.

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I won't steal your content but just looking for good ideas.

Websites that I have and all the work involved in keeping several of them going and updating blogs I am at best posting once a month.

I have enjoyed your blog and am thankfull to be able to sort of pick your brain without actually bothering you.

Blogs stand out because a lot of them people don't try and sale so much as to write about things that they enjoy or what they like to do.

Most of which comes out in there writing.

We want to grow and build my website to be the best and know I have much to learn, and fix to even come close.

We have been online for less then a year now, so yes we are very young. We hope to be starting another website about horse adoption and rescue. We have the need in our area of central texas.


I hope you come by to visit. I am not trying to sale you anything but would love to here if you have any ideas.

Thank you.
chiming clock wall

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