Sunday, August 21, 2005

Kaun Banega Cho***ya

As I type this Amitabh Bachchan is hosting KBC2 in a natty black suit, mismatched red hair and salt and pepper beard and lots of charm. Sitting across from him is Mr.Contestant. For Rs. 20,000 the question is

Which of these takes 365.242 days to complete?

A Earth’s revolution
B Earth’s rotation
C Sun’s rotation
D Sun’s revolution

Now after humming and hawing for a very long time Mr Contestant decides to ask the audience.

The audience takes 10 seconds to vote for options B A C in that order.

Mr Contestant goes for option A. The Big B does his Lock-kiya jaye routine and Mr C gets nervous and says ‘No no I will use 50-50’. The Computer then gets rid of options B and D and our dear contestant is forced to remember basic school-level physics.

Faced with Earth’s revolution and Sun’s rotation as options Mr Contestant is still unsure of the answer and opts to call a friend.

His friend after demanding that he gets Rs. 15,000 of his friends earnings for providing the winning answer, takes his own sweet time to offer C as the answer. (showing he fully deserves the money)

This only goes to prove that the people invited to participate in game shows (and their friends) have about the same IQ as Priyanka Chopra did on the night she won Ms. World (Dead sweety dead! Mother Teresa is DEAD)

And here is further proof that game show contestants will never win a Nobel Prize and will probably lose out to chimps as volunteers in brain research programs. (‘No No ex game show contestant. Touch your nose. Not your ass')

From The Weakest Link UK.

Anne Robinson (evil host) Which illness is named after it’s high temperature and red skin colouration?

Contestant Yellow fever

And some more proof…

The Richard Allison Show, radio 2

Richard Allison Which international brand shares its name with the Greek goddess of victory?

Contestant Erm… Kelloggs?

Oh and for those of you wondering Mr Contestant finally chose option A, won the 20 grand only to crash out 10 minutes later.


apu said...

I watched that episode! God I couldnt believe it...Seriously, Are these episodes 'staged' for more amusement/entertainment value? (read TRPs...)

Jabberwock said...

“Sun’s rotation” - hilarious! I remember there was a question where they asked “which of these writers compiled a joke book?” and Arundhati Roy was one of the options - and some people in the audience actually voted for her!

TomCruiseChellumm said...

My dear lady
Yes yes they get a lot of sutpid contestants. Yesterday one guy could not clear the 1st question for Rs 1000 and had to beat a retreat to his seat. And he came all the way from the boondoks of West Bengal to do that.
It is not clear whether your tirade is against the show or the contestants.
I have no problem with what you say about contestants. But give them a moment's thought. They are all there because they had the pateience to keep dialling the KBC no until they got through and answered the questions for shortlisting the candidates.
That is another story.
But if you are singling out the show and the anchor (Shri Bachachan)you are asking for trouble. They have recently formed the Amitabh Bachachan Rasigar Mandram in Chennai and I am the Global CEO of the Mandram. Our Motto is "Big B Can do No Wrong" So anyone who dares to say anything about Bachachan will be inviting a fatwah no less threatening than that which sent Mr Slaman Hydie rush(d)ing for cover.
So please stay celar of AB and his KB
Before anyone thinks of doing it, we are going to form a Rasigar Mandram for Chata Bachachan also.

The ramblings of a shoe fiend said...

apu - staged or not, we do tune in every night to watch the national IQ level dip one point lower :)

jabberwock - here's an example of the host and contestant being at par

While hosting "The Weakest Link" one evening in 2002, Anne Robinson read the following question:
What Conservative leader became the first female prime minister of the United Kingdom in 1979?

Robinson, famed for her snide remarks, was delighted to hear a contestant reply 'Tony Blair' (rather than Margaret Thatcher): "My friends back in England," she sneered, "will be surprised to know Tony Blair has been prime minister for almost 33 years!"

Alas, had Blair been elected in 1979, he would have been prime minister for almost... 23 years.

mr tc chellam b - i wouldn't dare criticise the big B... though he does make some questionable fashion choices

J. Alfred Prufrock said...

You do know that Sid Basu's team do some psychometric profiling for the contestants, don't you?
And if their IQ is into 3 digits, they don't make it.

On a more serious note, Synergy do screen out anybody who's been on Quiz Time or Mastermind or University Challenge etc.


TomCruiseChellumm said...

Ayyayyo, I missed the irony. Tom Cruise being the Cheitain of Amitabh Bachachan Rasigar Mandram

Sunil said...


There's a reason why i like watching shows like kbc or weakest link or even family fortunes. This is it....

It's my first visit to your blog, and I must say you're doing a great job blogging.

Ash said...

Seriously, those shows are pathetic ! But do provide some entertainment ... provided u can digest the fact that there are bozos like that out there !

Quizman said...

Jabberwock, the sun does rotate :-)

Minal said...

I did see that episode! Frustrating!
The questions are so framed so as to prove money means nothing:-)

Other factor that is disappointing is to see that the younger generation( 17-22) seems blissfully unaware of their history. Appalling!

Anyways, enjoy the coming episodes!

The ramblings of a shoe fiend said...

one good things about these shows... they make you feel like a genius!

Ravi said...

i never liked kbc. so one day when when my friends were all enthu for the new revamped version of the show, i happenned to have sneak preview.

the question - arrange these dates in the order they happen in a year .. ok here i thought the options would be some events like festivals or important holidays etc.
but the options were something like-
1) 5th sept 2)27th July 3) 30th Jan 4) 9th Nov
Uhhh...whaaat? i felt like smashing the TV with an iron pole.
amitabh was actually repeating the options twice as if to make sure that what we were hearing was actually being aired.

the worst part is yet to come. out of the 10 or so contestents only 1 (yes only 1) could answer correctly. this person was actually waving to the crowd & had the "i've cracked IIT-JEE" look on his face.

The ramblings of a shoe fiend said...

ravi - ha ha! i saw that one too - next time they'll be asked to arrange numbers between 1 and 10 in ascending order... tho ascending may be a word beyong their comprehension

Srin said...

What I find REALLY apalling is AB's wardrobe.

TomCruiseChellumm said...

Rasigar Mandram by the way is a Fan Club. MGR rode to power using the vast net work of his Mandrams. Now Vijayakant is trying his luck.
AB Rasigar Mandram's objective is to make Big B the Prime Minister of India.
Opposition will ask questions in Lok Sabha and they wont give him 4 options!
Wait for the day when he becomes PM

Rat said...

Hahah I watched that episode and I was like WTF !!!

There were a worse contestant on Sunday. God I need a life . Hehe.

IdeaSmith said...

That's why they are Nobel Prize winners and KBC...umm..hopefuls? Umeed se dugna and all that jazz....nice blog by the way.

krishna rautela said...

yes... problem is that when u r sitting with a bunch of people who are at the same level as some of the contestant and they keep urging u to pick up telephone to dial KBC numbers....

some questions that have been doing round in my head
.did india's child genius get same TRP as KBC?
.is KBC a hit becoz of the jackpot at the stake? and in the end when some mediocre person eventually wins will pull more people to the show?
.is KBC a hit becoz of AB? would any quiz show that was aimed at really finding geniuses be as big a hit with AB as host and minus the prize money?

Megha said...

Please to remind again what was Priyanka Chopra's question? I know it has nothing to do with your rant, but one is curious, so asking.

Nice blog! Stopped by from .. not really sure where, but intend to be back. Cheers! :)

Hawkeye said...

Makes me wonder whether we r moving forward or backword. One small step (backward) for man, and a giant slip backward for Indiakind.

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