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Today's headlines

Jade and Danielle apologised to Shilpa Madam for among other things calling her Shilpa Poppadom and smirking and laughing at her. Big Biraather porducers deny staging the apology, though Lloyd and Goody were prompted in the diary room about what they thought of their actions.

Carphone Warehouse has pulled out of their sponsorship deal with Big Brother production company Endemol, believed to be a front for the Universal Society of Keralite Togetherness.

Periya Annachi (as the show will be called when it is dubbed and released in Tamil Nadu for the pleasure of Tamizh's who have calmed down over the inflamatory statements of Germaine Greer after she changed her name to Germaine Sokkathangam Greer) has promised to donate the proceeds of tonight's eviction phone vote (an estimated £3million) to the charity Celeb Victims of Big Brother Fallout.

Gordon Brown, serial frowner and Prime Minister in the wings of Great Britain today urged Britons to vote for Shilpa Shetty, claiming that a vote for Shetty was a vote for Britain. The Chancellor obviously does watch Celebrity Big Brother as voting for Shetty would result in her eviction.

Shetty has retracted a statment made earlier that she felt the bullying was racial in nature.

The London Paper, so enthused by Madam Shetty had a double page spread in today's edition where prominent Bollywood stars were compared to various Hollywood leading ladies. Rani Mukherjee was likened to Nicole Kidman, Kajol to Julia Roberts, Kareena Kapoor to Drew Barrymore, Priyanka Chopra to Cameron Diaz, Preity Zinta to Renee Zellweger, Aishwarya Rai to Angeline Jolie and last but not least Shilpa Shetty to Sandra Bullock. Why have these similarities never been apparent before?

Oh and then this.